Quals

The dark lurking cloud looms ahead... Flashes of lighting ready to tear apart the flimsy hypotheses and thundering booms of the Boss's admonishments... Only a few brave souls dare venture further to challenge the gateway to the Portal of Horrendous Despair (until they give up, graduate and return to real life..)... THE PHD QUALIFYING EXAMS! *boom* *crash*!!!

Okay, that was rather melodramatic, but seriously, that's how it feels right now. Still stuck in lab, trying to make sense of everything. Doesn't help that the whole project has been given the run around and metamorphosed too many times to count. And to top it off, even the Boss doesn't know what my main focus is... ARRGGHH! Ah well.. on the bright side, so says the other lab mate, after the Quals, things get clearer and more focused. You just have to go through the soul-rending, mind-boggling, frantic scrambling and all-nighters to figure out the details needed to pass the qualifiers. Then its not so bad after that. Relatively.

So, it's a do-or-die mission I have to accomplish by the weekend. Produce the results and figures, get the necessary slides done, come out with the whole research proposal and write a ten page report. Also, find a thesis committee and set a date two weeks from now to face the firing squad. Madness to say the least and utterly unhealthy for my stress levels. To top it off, I have to prepare for a two week trip to Italy in the middle of April for the sibling's wedding. Wonderful how things coincide together. When it rains.. it certainly thunders..

*Would gecko-on-wall survive? Tune in to the next blog entry...*

Long lost?

It's been a long while since I last blogged.. or rather procrastinated by communicating via the web.. either through email, chat or blog. It finally hit me today that communication does matter... Keeping in touch with people constantly to maintain contacts... I naively thought that friends would remain friends even after a long time. Even if we haven't seen each other or communicated for a long time, we would be able to pick up the threads of friendship when we meet again. For me, it doesn't matter... I would still eagerly greet the person as a friend, still remember the stuff we used to talk about and would want to be updated by the happenings in their lives when we meet up again, ignoring the erosion of time... Sadly... it is not so. Sure, it'll be awkward and such in the beginning, but if you trust and consider them friend, sharing your lives again should be free-flowing.... I need to protect my emotions as I feel too much, so when they gain my trust, they have it for a lifetime... So, why should this be so fragile?

I don't know. Time passes by me so fast, that it does not seem to have moved. Strange feeling.. but that's what you get when you stay in one place, do the same kind of work, stick to a routine.. and the world moves on without you... I live in an illusion that things are the same... would stay the same...

I am not good at saying goodbye to people, so, it hurts when they say goodbye to me. So, does this mean that once we pause in talking to one another... it's long lost?

Procrastination

Finally, managed to get some stuff going in lab. It's a sideline project that appears to have more promise than my main topic, but hey, what ever works, works! Kinda sick of looking at the same thing from different angles... so decided to take a stroll and play around with other stuff while waiting for inspiration, or more enlightening results to come out from the main project. Procrastination in a weird way... It's pretty interesting, I have totally no idea on nuclear receptors, so, reading up at the same time. And in case my boss is reading this... yes... I'm still working/whacking at the main project... *waves real time PCR data and shRNA vectors cloning stuff at boss for distraction*...

Ah yes, talk about waving stuff... (if you can get the joke, you're a kindred spirit!!) For a real dose of procrastination and peer suppport, check out phdcomics.com. Comic strips, a blog by a comic strip character that's so real and a forum. Badger badger badger!!!

gecko-on-wall

Greetings and welcome to the gecko_on_wall blog. This is my first blog, so, be kind and reserve your judgement for somewhere else. Random events, thoughts etc would be put up. Won't promise to update frequently.. probably would only do so when I'm bored, stressed, happy etc... in other words, when I feel some emotion...

Anyway, for starters... why am I blogging??? For one thing, I was 'challenged' to put one up. Okay. So, here it is. Another, to keep in touch with friends scattered all over the place. Well, blogging also probably serves as a sort of journal. Or a place to vent since I'm not so fond of saying things out loud. Not that I talk to myself, or have conversations in my head... but more that I prefer to hold my tongue and watch things from the sidelines... hence, gecko on wall... (should be gecko on the wall, but I'm only allowed a maximum of 20 characters...) On the other hand, I like writing.... and I can express myself more naturally by doing so.

Writing gives you time to think and organize your thoughts before putting them down. Even after doing so, you can still re-write and edit until you are happy with it. However with speech, once it leaves your lips.... fate is sealed. No turning back, no re-capturing of words, no chance. Well, I wish you happy reading of my blog... if you feel at any point like raising an eyebrow at my randomness.. go ahead and do it if it makes you feel better... Have a good weekend ahead...